As a mom with a spinal fusion, navigating daily life can be a delicate balance between work, caring for kids, the pets, the house, the volunteer work, managing pain, and–oh yeah!– maintaining your own well-being. I’ve written before about the ways my chronic pain has helped me be a better mother, but I thought I’d share some practical tips (plus, I’ve added a kid since I write that post!).

Here’s how I try to pick my battles and focus on what truly matters:

The Spinal Fusion Mom’s Guide to Prioritizing

Embrace the imperfect: Let go of the idea of being a “perfect” mom. Your kids don’t need perfection; they need your love and presence. Focus on creating meaningful moments rather than a picture-perfect home. Trust me…they get used to a messy house.

Delegate and accept help: Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance from your partner, family, or friends. Outsource tasks that strain your back, like heavy lifting or prolonged standing. Disclaimer: I’m not great at this. But I’m working on it.

Choose your activities wisely: Prioritize activities that bring joy and connection without compromising your health. You can’t always pick up your kids when they want you to. You can’t always jump on the trampoline. But there are lots of other ways to connect; kids understand.

Pain Management Strategies

Listen to your body: Recognize your limits and respect them. It’s okay to take breaks or modify activities to prevent overexertion.

Incorporate mindfulness: Practice meditation and mindfulness techniques to manage pain and reduce stress. Even a few minutes of deep breathing can make a difference. I have a some ideas on how to do this here.

Stay active, but smart: Maintain an exercise routine that strengthens your core and supports your spine. Right now, I like running, yoga, hiking, and paddleboarding. I hate walking, but I’ll do it if I have to. Here are a few other things I hate doing. Consult with your doctor or physical therapist for safe, fusion-friendly workouts.

Focusing on What Matters

Quality over quantity: When pain limits your activities, focus on making the time you spend with your children truly count. Be fully present and engaged during these moments. Don’t beat yourself up.

Teach resilience: Use your experience as a teaching opportunity. Show your children how to face challenges with grace and determination.

Prioritize self-care: Remember that taking care of yourself is crucial. When you’re at your best, you can be a better mom. Don’t feel guilty about scheduling time for rest and recovery. Yeah…I’m still working on this one.

By picking your battles wisely and focusing on what truly matters, you can thrive as a mom with a spinal fusion. Your journey may look different from others, but it’s no less valuable or fulfilling. Embrace your unique path and the strength it has given you to be an incredible, resilient mother. You got this, mama!