Spinally Fused Superwoman Mama

Being a mama is tough. It equates to seeing your heart exit your body, then watching it wander around the world to encounter whatever uncontrollable adventures it may while you stand paralyzed and helpless nearby. So…not intense at all.

The chronic pain from my spiral fusion has actually set me up well to be a great mom. Hear me out.

Reasons Chronic Pain Has Made Me A Better Mama Than I Might Have Been Otherwise

1. I recognize that pain is inevitable.

My daughter will encounter rough patches. We all do eventually. (In fact, one might argue she already has. See my post: Cleft Warrior.) Because pain is an everyday reality for me, it won’t be a surprise when it pops up elsewhere in my life. We don’t run from it or fight it. We face it head it, ready for it. “Hello, old friend.”

2. I know the critical importance of mindfulness.

Being in the present moment helps so much in moments of high emotion and crisis. I can be there with my daughter as much as she needs me to be because I practice meditation everyday. And mindfulness has granted me a self-awareness necessary to responsive parenting.

3. I have perspective about “problems.”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m super sad you dropped your doll in the mud, kid, but let’s get real for a second. Choosing a response that fits the circumstances rather than reacting to the emotions of the moment go a long way toward providing a stable support system for my kid.

4. I know I am strong enough because I have been forced to prove it.

When everyday things turn into an epic battle because the pain is so intense…yet I’ve made it day after day. I can make it through this too. And so can she.

5. Suffering leads to growth and compassion; I am very good at compassion.

When my now-toddler throws a super tantrum (a rare event to be honest), I hold her and breathe with her. That’s it. I just take deep, audible breathes, and before I know it she’s right there with me. Just breathing. I validate her feelings (yes, even at 2, she can understand that mama is there with her). I feel with her to help guide her through the feelings so she doesn’t get lost in them. I know pain, so I can do this quite easily.

In the end, I am thankful to my chronic pain because it’s serving me well. I mean, I really, freaking hate it…but I still have gratitude for it. I’m a better mama for my little monkey because of how it’s forced me to grow and change.

Share with me your questions or comments about what I’ve written above. It’s high-level and fluffy, so I’m happy to go deeper if that’s what people want.

Let us all thank our sore spots, for they teach us how to better serve others.

Namaste.