I’m a glutton for punishment. Really that’s the only logical explanation for what went on this weekend. Mud volleyball in 40-degree weather with a freezing wind chill hurts. It hurts especially when you’re in chronic pain to begin with, but I’m always up for a challenge and the promise of a good time. And I did have a blast!  Despite all of what I’m about to write, I laughed until my abs hurt with my awesome teammates and friends. I would do this again in a heartbeat, as long as it was warmer.

I like to find my body’s limits. They have changed so much since the spinal fusion.

Having never played mud volleyball, I had no idea what to expect. I didn’t even know if I could last the day, but I had to find out. Prepped with the maximum amount of ibuprofen and a decidedly optimistic faith in my body’s strength, I set out for my answer.

As a Montana girl born and raised with sub-zero ambient temperatures and negative 40-degree wind chills, the cold never used to affect me. In fact, I loved it. That has changed. My body doesn’t respond well to being cold anymore. The back spasms get worse and last longer. The addition of mud—an unsteady, ever-moving, heavy, resisting platform of fun—put things over the edge.

My body stopped working.

It did not respond. My brain said, “MOVE!” My legs stuttered through the chattering teeth of my spine, “w-w-w-hhatttt???”

The next day I could barely walk. I waddled around trying to clean my bookshelves because I didn’t want to believe that I hurt this bad. My boyfriend had to physically force me to sit still, so I could rest enough to stop crying. Slowly, the sharp pain subsided somewhat (a massage from the bf certainly helped), and I returned to a manageable level of pain.

Hot Vinyasa Yoga two days later helped my recovery efforts. And now, three days out, I still have a higher level of pain, along with sharp stabs, but I can move.

Because I am tough, I found my limit. Because I am stubborn, I pushed a little past it. Because I am resilient, I recovered enough to do it again.